Time check, 1:44 am on 29 May 2022 (Sunday), and I must finally deal with this post-mortem in the hopes that this will be cathartic. (Post-mortem, get it? An examination of what happened. A post about ‘death’. And towards the end, it was really a post that touches upon death. And look at me, explaining the triple entendre on the title.)
Posting everything for posterity.
It’s been 20 days since the election ended and there’s still a lot to process. Frankly speaking, it was difficult to get through the days since the 9th. And look at me, I may even be one of the last few people writing things down on a blog, instead of making a vlog. I may be old school like that, but it is what it is.
I was extremely remiss of my school work leading to the D-Day. I had full on election anxiety and I could not think of anything else. I was a mess. To be fair, I had been a mess mentally last year, but somehow, leading up to the 9th was a whole lot to deal with. I even had to email the university on the 8th that I would be taking a Leave of Absence (LOA), or even drop the course because I felt I was not at my best these past few months.
Still, I was advised to carry on and, gahd, it was tedious. With some miracle from out of nowhere, I managed to tune everything out and pass i.e. pass the requirement. No grade yet. And if ever I manage to just get a barely passing grade, I would not mind at all. I was not even thinking how my fairly good grades would be blemished because I was such a mess. It was enough for me to finally deal with my thoughts about everything.
So if I pass, only comprehensive exams and thesis left for me. And if I take the exam this year, it will exactly be 10 years since I’ve last taken one for my first master’s degree. And I will siomai again.
Where do I start? Perhaps here:
This election season was the very first time I was so invested. It was already my 3rd time voting for the highest post in the land and, during these three times, none of my candidates won. The first two, it felt not so much of a big deal. The third time, however, proved me wrong.
Perhaps I was too invested. Perhaps I had too much hope. Perhaps I hoped really hard that some hope will befall upon us.
I was wrong.