At the bridge

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
— Mary Frye, 1932

It is a very sad day for us, as we heard the news of the death of Mon’s pet kitty. Uyu was found dead and probably deliberately killed by unknown men late last night. We still find it hard to fathom what pushed these people to kill such an innocent and gentle animal. It was really hard to believe that something as heinous as this can happen to Uyu.

Uyu while taking a nap last February

Uyu while taking a nap last February

Uyu was an older brother of my pet Miso (another brother was Popo), and it seems only yesterday when they were born a day before Valentine’s last year. I had been sporadically crying all day as it was really upsetting. It really pained me so hard to think how much he had to endure before his final moments. The details of what he had become were too graphic that I just can’t bring myself to fully imagine his final image. Given the choice, I just wanted to remember him as the lazy, loving cat, whose flailing paws made him gentler and more adorable. However, it would be an insult to his memory to be forgetful of what truly happened — animal cruelty makes me sick.

A friend of ours forwarded to us the “Rainbow Bridge”, a prose talking of a place where pets who passed away wait for their owners to be reunited someday. It was gut-wrenching to read it. Words cannot express the grief that we are feeling now, but we have to eventually accept that Uyu has already left us. We just imagined him to have wings, similar to Keroberos from Cardcaptor Sakura, lazily sleeping under a tree in the meadow.

Sleep well, Uyu. You are at peace now. =(

Remembering my grandmother

The 8th of March marks my late maternal grandmother’s birthday. If she were still alive today, she would have turned 77 years old. I wasn’t able to visit her grave last All Saints Day and the last time I went to the cemetery was during her interment. Because of that, I had already decided since January that I would visit on her birthday and good thing it fell on a Friday, when I could comfortable wear jeans and sneakers. New façade of San Juan City CemeteryAfter I had passed by St. Claire in Katipunan, Mon and I met in Farmers Market to buy some flowers. I forgot to bring some candles with me, but as it was raining lightly, they would just be easily extinguished. Cemeteries always give out a somber atmosphere, and the gray skies did not help to alleviate the gloom. Looking for the exact place of my grandmother’s grave, we got lost on the first turn because of the weeds growing around it. She’s sharing the same place as her mother and uncle, as seen in the tombstone (though her mother’s was written separately).

Flowers for my grandmother's 77th birthday

We then heard footsteps approaching us and they were made by a middle-aged lady, who probably followed us from the entrance. It was very annoying to hear her jabber about the state of the grave, and offered monthly cleaning services. I was honestly at the point of telling her off because I was really in the middle of deep reflection. It was difficult to think and concentrate when someone was just talking away and pulling weeds and shrubs. What I couldn’t understand was why she chose to do her cleaning while we were there, having a quiet moment in front of the grave. And when we left 15 minutes after, she was already trailing behind us. >_< So, why destroy my quiet time? The realist, suspicious side of me thought that the lady MIGHT take the flowers away, after we left the cemetery.

Home Made Carrot Cake in San Juan City

My sister will be jealous!

Before leaving the area, I told Mon of this place, which my sister and me has chosen as a de facto landmark since we were little. As far as I can recall, we’ve been watching out for this giant carrot because it meant that we were already near the cemetery. We never had the chance to have a look inside, though, so I took the opportunity earlier to finally visit this homemade carrot cake place.

Price list - Home Made Carrot Cake in San Juan CityEven if their prices were ‘reasonable’, we had no reason to buy a whole cake from them. So we just bought two slices, for the sole purpose of tasting them. Looking at the menu for the first time, I though that a whole ‘carrot cake walnut’ was just Php 185 but obviously I have misread it if I were to pay Php 65 a slice. And speaking of the slice, it was smaller than what I’ve expected, but we still bought some because it was embarrassing to setp out empty-handed. So the verdict: I might not return there for a long time but it was nice to have finally satisfied my curiosity after almost two decades. =D

A day of learning

Last day of the month and February literally passed by with only twenty eight days. I was on half-day leave because I attended a conference/workshop regarding aging and migration in UP, with guest speakers from different countries, especially in Asia.

Bearbrick sweater, skinny khaki pants, stripes canvas belt, black 8-hole Doc Martens with strap and buckles, vintage Coach Metropolitan briefcase messenger

The venue was at the University Hotel and it was then that I realized that I have never entered that area of UP before. Finishing both my undergrad and graduate degree, I still haven’t visited a lot of places inside the campus and the University Hotel was no exception. I thought I arrived late, but good thing that the event did not start until 1:30 PM. I overlooked the schedule of activities, wherein 1:00 PM was just the registration proper.

University Hotel's entrance in UP Diliman
University Hotel's lobby in UP Diliman

The theme of the workshop centers on aging and migration in 21st century Asia. The primary organizer, Prof. Yoneno-Reyes, sent an invitation/announcement to everybody last Sunday. She was also my professor in aging and migration three years ago, and I still find the topic interesting and compelling. The moderator of the event, Prof. Sevilla, was also my professor in a West Asia course. For the whole afternoon, three speakers from Japan, China and South Korea presented their papers. Two of them were from Kyoto University, while the other one was from SungKongHoe University.

Emiko Ochiai from Kyoto University

One by one, the three guests presented their topics: from the concepts of intimate work, ‘housewifization’, to ‘a new woman’; as well as marriage migration chains in East Asia to South Korea’s changing policy on multiculturalism and migration. But if I were to be frank with my observations, it was quite frustrating having to follow and grapple with the discussion. Aside from the looming presence of the language barrier between the speakers and their audience, the faulty sound system made matters worse. I felt really embarrassed for the guests, especially when another discussion from the next-door’s conference got transmitted and broadcasted in our room in the middle of the speaker’s discussion, due to mixing up of wireless microphones’ signal. I wanted to hide under the table.

Gabriele Vogt asking a question

I looked at the list of guests and saw that Gabriele Vogt was present. I was really eager to see her because she wrote one of our required readings in class before. I even cited her in one of my essays for comprehensive exams.

If there is one thing I have learned about myself from the event, it was my tendency not to socialize with people I do not know. There were only two people in the room who I knew, and they were my previous professors who were busy with the workshop. I just sat at the end of room, next to the refreshments (coffee within an arm’s reach, yay!) beside two formidable-looking ladies. I did not start a conversation with them, until I decided against the awkwardness of the situation. I was stunned to know that I was seated next to the dean of the College of Nursing of UP Manila. O_O Good thing she was very approachable and even started asking questions about me. There will be another session tomorrow, but I’m not too sure if I would be able to attend. I really need to seriously start reviewing for another exam two Sundays from now.

P.S.
Just as the day turned 28, I found out that our grandmother (my father’s auntie) passed away due to stroke. She was in a nursing home in Alberta, Canada and I haven’t seen her since the late 90s. She died at the age of 88. May you rest in peace, Lola Soling and we love you so much.

Rest in peace, my friend…

Mon and I were on a halfday leave today because we went to visit the wake of our friend who passed away last week. I had no idea how to go to Sucat, Parañaque and I left myself to the careful and guiding hands of Mon. Anything past Baclaran and I already have no clue.

Manila Memorial Park in Sucat, Parañaque

It was a very emotional day and a lot of things were running through my mind when we were there talking to the father of our departed friend. Of all the things I’ve thought about, I appreciated the acceptance of my father over me and everything about me and Mon more than ever…

Rest in peace, Wacks. You will be forever missed and we will always remember you. We won’t forget you…

Grown up things

Last November, I intended to obtain a copy of my Transcript of Records from the University Registrar. However, I had a peculiar situation because even if I technically graduated last semeseter, I had to wait for the Board of Regents’ meeting to make my graduation official. As a result, I could not request any documents until the meeting last December and the processing of my transcript would proceed not after my student clearance was finished.

Clearance Form - OUR UP DilimanAnyway, I decided yesterday to fix all of my credentials, certifications, records and all because I just found out that the submission of requirements for the exam I intend to take will be on the 31st of January. I must admit, I lost interest in this particular examination last November because I thought that I’d have no chance to fix and get my requirements on time but I saw a ray of hope.

Deserted AS corridor

 

 

 

OUR, why so far

 

Then to OUR I went! Since I arrived at around 9:30 AM, I only had 2.5 hours to apply and pay for all the papers I needed: Student Clearance, Transcript of Record, Certification of Graduation, Course Description, True Copy of Grades from CSSP and CAL, and Certified True Copy of my undergraduate diploma. It was not easy because I had to walk from OUR, to Faculty Center, to AS and go to ISSI for the Cashier and back to the same buildings again for the receipts.

CAL 101 has transferred again, now in FC 1091

 

I only needed my TOR but it would take a longer time to process (14 days for updating) and if I were to consider the time for my clearance to finish, I will get my records by February 2 or two days past the deadline. I had no choice but apply for True Copy of Grades and hoped that the person whom I inquired was correct in saying that I can submit them in lieu of my TOR.

I wish I could take her home

She even allowed me to pet her

 

 

While I was doing all of this, I was able to pass by lots of kitties in Faculty Center. Last June 2012, I posted pictures of these kitties and I was happy to see more earlier. The first one was the small kitten above, sitting near the entrance of FC. I thought that she was hungry so I bought some bread from one of the stores near the road and when I got back, there were already more of them.

Feeding the FC kittiesUnmoved kitty in FC Parking Lot

At exactly 12:00 noon, I was finally finished in submitting everything and had no choice but to wait and pray that the processing would be fast. I was most anxious over the student clearance because my request for TOR won’t be processed if I don’t have it ready. Resting for only 10 minutes, I began traveling to Shaw to visit the head office of PAG-IBIG. I had originally decided to go directly to work but Mon pushed me to finish everything I needed to finish so that I won’t have to go to Shaw the week after.

Honestly, I was worried on how my visit would be because it has been a year since I last went there. I had to visit their head office to supply 12 more PDCs for the payment of my mortgage and I even asked around on what to write on them. Then one of my friends specifically mentioned that the checks should be addressed to “HOME DEVELOPMENT MUTUAL FUND”. Duh. I also then realized that I have been paying for two years already and it seemed only yesterday when I found it difficult and tasking to allocate money for the mortgage. =D

PDCs to be issued to PAG-IBIG

 

When I reached PAG-IBIG, I went straight away to the second floor and was made to queue in the counters directly next to the entrance. After waiting for my final billing to finish, I was then directed to the section where I would be submitting the PDCs. I thuoght it would be fast but I was made to complete the information at the back, following the standardized dorsal format. I think that by the fifth check, my hand was already cursing me.

The Dorsal Format of Philippine Checks for PAG-IBIG

 

Within an hour, I was already done with everything and then I went straight to work. I thought that everything would be fine but I was wrong. We just got word that a previous officemate and friend of ours passed away yesterday. It was so shocking that it took me about three hours to finally react and I was silently crying in my post. He was just 29 years old — so young. What transpired within the past few hours changed my perspective over the transcience of life.

Now, I feel more determined to prepare for the upcoming examination but hopefully, I get my Transcript of Records first.

 

Time warp: Happy Halloween!

I had little recollection of anything fashion-related in the 90s, except for distinct shoulderpads and distinct baroque prints done by Gianni Versace when he was still alive (R.I.P.). But apparently, while I was busy oggling over my Disney and Japanese-imported (and Tagalized) cartoons, there was a huge craze over the the little black backpacks done by Prada. I had no memory of such but  whenever I Google “Prada nylon backpacks”, there was always a 90s reference to it. Just before the turn of the decade (and the millenium) in 1999, the movie ‘10 Things I Hate About You‘ had an oft-quoted Prada backpack reference on it:

Bianca (Larisa Oleynik) as Bianca with her epiphany over a Prada backpack in 10 Things I Hate About You - with Gabrielle Union and Joseph Gordon Levitt

When I first watched the movie (I was already in high school), I had no idea what the analogy was about, but I definitely knew what Skechers was. I literally begged for a suede pair as a Christmas gift from my mother and that was the most expensive thing I’ve owned at that time.

Years later when I began being interested with bags, I never considered owning a nylon Prada backpack because: 1) the size of the bags I always see is tiny and some even have this leather-and-chain straps on them, 2) they seemed very dated to me as something that should be left in the 90s, and 3) a backpack was no longer an option, given my unfortunate experience of having my cellphone stolen when I had last owned one. But as they always say, “Never say never”. Yesterday, something arrived for me and I finally have my own big Prada backpack. The 90s is now officially alive in my books. =)

Big Prada Nylon and Saffiano Leather Backpack - Manila, Philippine

Bench polo shirt, my 'favorite' black H&M sweatshirt and black Prada nylon and saffiano leather backpack - Manila, Philippines men's fashion

I wish I could find a nice Prada Trick Robot to attach on that D-ring (Photo from Polyvore)

Wearing all-black today does not only signify the Halloween-ness of the atmosphere as it is October 31; but also exactly a year ago (and approximately within the hour), my grandmother peacefully passed away. I can’t believe that it has been already a year when I was surprised by a phone call from my brother telling me that Nanay has already died. It was one big blur and I remember immediately rushing home from work (because it was a holiday), while we waited in our house for the coffin to arrive.

Our tree was already out of the box - Manila, PhilippinesKnowing the results of my examinations yesterday made me extra emotional because I remember that when I graduated from grade school in the 90s and high school in early 2000, my grandmother was the one always present in every ceremony. And when I finished college in 2007, and she was already very sick that time, she even managed to congratulate me from her wheelchair. Come 2013 when I attend the rites for finishing graduate school, my grandmother won’t be there. But I know she’s in a much better place now, and my parents will finally be personally attending mine. =)

Well on a different note, I noticed that our Christmas tree has been already taken out of the storage room and just waiting for ornaments to be put on it. ^_^ I expect that the Holiday season will go on full throttle once the All Saints Day and All Souls Day are finally over. I’m actually looking forward to decorating the tree this weekend.