Seoul and Water: Flood Memories

In the last 2 days, I’ve felt so invested reading on the record-breaking rain and subsequent flooding in Seoul. It felt very jarring to see all the videos coming in not only from news outlets, but also social media users regarding the flood. We even watched during breakfast one of the regular walking tour vloggers from Seoul, who veered away from his usual promenades and daringly walked around the city while it was flooded.

We were lost for words. We were heartbroken.

At the same time, it felt really visceral having to read and watch all of these. That was the last thing I’ve immersed myself with (no pun intended) before sleeping last night, and I felt a familiar bodily reaction.

PTSD.

I’ve spoken publicly and also written here several times over the years how I’ve developed trauma from the strong rain and rushing flood waters. Every start of the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof for a potentially heavy rain, or even on vehicles was enough to make my head spin.

For instance, during one of the trips back to Manila from field visit with authorities and communities in Pampanga around mid-2020, it began raining hard in NLEX. The sound of the heavy rain on the van froze me and left me almost close to tears. I was shaking a bit. It prompted me to share with a colleague of mine why my response was such, just to have an outlet.

Specifically, back in September 2009, our family experienced the worst flooding of our lives when Typhoon Ondoy hit the country, and made Marikina the center of the war zone. Our 2-storey house was submerged, with the water reaching almost the 2nd floor’s ceiling with only a palm’s length clearance. It was that high.

That was the point in my life where I really felt I would lose all of my family members (except for Papa, who was still working overseas at the time. I recall thinking after that night, it may  just be the two of us left).

In its aftermath, there were literal dead people hanging from trees and electric posts, as well as dead animals. =( There was also a familiar smell of rotting flesh in the air, whenever a gust of wind blows. We had no electricity for about a month, and prompted some of us to live somewhere else temporarily. It was that traumatic.

Then in August 2012, the monsoon season left our house submerged — at the same time I was about to take the 2nd part of my comprehensive exams for my first graduate degree. Imagine having to still study and attend my exams with flecks of mud on my clothes because it was a mess everywhere.

house-flood-1.jpg (750×563)

Flood of 2012. Knee level. Leading up to my comprehensive exams. Imagine having to still review with flood waters?

Then in November 2020, another flood caused by Typhoon Ulysses left the house submerged again. That was the last straw that compelled me to finally take on renovating our house up in the mountains I got exactly a month after Typhoon Ondoy for my family. No way I’ll let my family experience this again.

So by September 2021, my family was able to move in the new house after almost 3 months of renovation, and coincidentally as they evacuated from another impending flood. There was no turning back that time, even with only some clothes, provisions, and our pets loaded in the van. Good thing the renovation was almost done that time, and we had a small fridge, stove and WiFi up and running (as the kids had online classes).

Thus the news on Seoul made me really feel so much for everyone affected, not only for those whose properties were damaged by the floods, moreso to those who died or those whose family members died. =(

The most vivid story that kept on playing in my head before I slept last night was the story of a family who drowned in the basement apartment, which is a norm in some areas around Seoul. If we recall the Oscar-winning movie Parasite from 2019, this is like life imitating art.

I could not shake the image of the family’s last moments, and triggered memories of the great flood we experienced in 2009. Some of these things do stick hard in your psyche. They never leave.

It is the second night before sleeping (time check – 12:41 am) that I am catching up on the news of the flood. Despite knowing how triggering the stories are, I could not help but read and watch, and in this case, write about my feelings with this post. I am gutted.

It is also annoying how social media users in the country (or better yet, trolls) can find something funny over something this serious. There are people who died, people! It is no laughing matter at all.

Social media can be really a toxic space.

Nevertheless, I just hope Seoul recovers from this devastation (and surely they will). On the other hand, for those who may ahve developed some traumatic response/PTSD over this, may you also eventually able to find coping mechanisms over the lingering effects of the rain and flooding.

My personal trauma eventually became manageable over the months, right after I got my family out of the valley to the mountains. But the bodily response is still always there.

It is surely not easy.

bryologue

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