reflection

Bucket List

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Memento mori. Remember you will die.

A couple of years before I reach the big 4-0, it may be morbid to be even thinking about a bucket list. While granted I may still have a long life ahead of me, death is inevitable and its discussion something we should not shy upon.

I just sound so adult saying that, but somehow the idea of a bucket list accidentally crossed my mind while I was looking for something in my blog. Tomorrow is never promised.

Back in March 2014, I recounted how I almost kicked the bucket towards the end of 2013. I’ve re-read that recollection a couple of minutes ago and found myself a bit teary eyed. I forgot almost half of the details of what I wrote at the time. I literally had a brush with death, and about 9 years after, here I am writing this post now.

I also remember how back in December 2016, I suddenly just cried while we were inside Myeongdong Cathedral. I was very grateful to be back. It was unimaginable. I was overwhelmed with emotions that time as it felt surreal to be back at the exact place 4 years after when in December 2013, I was already at the hospital fighting for my life. Now that I recall it, I pondered that time:

“Oh, this time last year, it was my first winter“.

Oh, those days. It got me thinking: what are the things I am looking forward to?

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Seoul and Water: Flood Memories

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In the last 2 days, I’ve felt so invested reading on the record-breaking rain and subsequent flooding in Seoul. It felt very jarring to see all the videos coming in not only from news outlets, but also social media users regarding the flood. We even watched during breakfast one of the regular walking tour vloggers from Seoul, who veered away from his usual promenades and daringly walked around the city while it was flooded.

We were lost for words. We were heartbroken.

At the same time, it felt really visceral having to read and watch all of these. That was the last thing I’ve immersed myself with (no pun intended) before sleeping last night, and I felt a familiar bodily reaction.

PTSD.

I’ve spoken publicly and also written here several times over the years how I’ve developed trauma from the strong rain and rushing flood waters. Every start of the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof for a potentially heavy rain, or even on vehicles was enough to make my head spin.

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“Post”-Mortem

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But first…

Siri, play 'Rosas'

….Siri, play ‘Rosas’ (and yes, this is still on repeat)

Time check, 1:44 am on 29 May 2022 (Sunday), and I must finally deal with this post-mortem in the hopes that this will be cathartic. (Post-mortem, get it? An examination of what happened. A post about ‘death’. And towards the end, it was really a post that touches upon death. And look at me, explaining the triple entendre on the title.)

Posting everything for posterity.

It’s been 20 days since the election ended and there’s still a lot to process. Frankly speaking, it was difficult to get through the days since the 9th. And look at me, I may even be one of the last few people writing things down on a blog, instead of making a vlog. I may be old school like that, but it is what it is.

 

Five days late — still an achievement to have finished something

I was extremely remiss of my school work leading to the D-Day. I had full on election anxiety and I could not think of anything else. I was a mess. To be fair, I had been a mess mentally last year, but somehow, leading up to the 9th was a whole lot to deal with. I even had to email the university on the 8th that I would be taking a Leave of Absence (LOA), or even drop the course because I felt I was not at my best these past few months.

Still, I was advised to carry on and, gahd, it was tedious. With some miracle from out of nowhere, I managed to tune everything out and pass i.e. pass the requirement. No grade yet. And if ever I manage to just get a barely passing grade, I would not mind at all. I was not even thinking how my fairly good grades would be blemished because I was such a mess. It was enough for me to finally deal with my thoughts about everything.

So if I pass, only comprehensive exams and thesis left for me. And if I take the exam this year, it will exactly be 10 years since I’ve last taken one for my first master’s degree. And I will siomai again.

Where do I start? Perhaps here:

Me in Pasay and Makati

Me in Pasay and Makati

This election season was the very first time I was so invested. It was already my 3rd time voting for the highest post in the land and, during these three times, none of my candidates won. The first two, it felt not so much of a big deal. The third time, however, proved me wrong.

Perhaps I was too invested. Perhaps I had too much hope. Perhaps I hoped really hard that some hope will befall upon us.

I was wrong.

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It is already March 2022

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It has been more than a year and 1 month since I last posted. Where was I the whole time?

This blog will be turning 10 this June, when I have first written this entry back in June 1, 2012. But I also have a still active Tumblr page last time I’ve checked, which I first opened when I turned 25. I am turning 37 this year, and I am still here, albeit writing sparingly.

Proof of Life 2022

Unfiltered proof of life 2022: if there is one thing I have learned in the last few months, it was moisturizing. I knew at one point all those all-nighters will catch up on me. >o<

So where do we start?

Twenty twenty-one had been a pivotal year for me. I had never been more adult than the year that was. Remember my house in the uplands which I last visited in January 2013? It took about 6 years until the 4th quarter of 2019 for me to visit again the property, which had expectedly seen a state of neglect.

I was determined to start being serious with it again by that time, but the pandemic hit. Everything was put to a stop. It took until March 2021 for me to get the ball rolling with the renovation of the property because of Ulysses from November 2020.

That whole renovation process and the successful full payment of my Pag-Ibig loan (19 years and 10 months ahead of the maturity date) deserve their own post, so I’ll just share this before and after:

Our townhouse - before and after

Our townhouse: before from March 2021, and after from August 21, 2021. Notice I even had to spraypaint my name by the door because there were several people reportedly claiming the property when I neglected it. Good thing there were no trespassers.

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Day 1: 2021

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There’s no point saying I will write more (i.e. at least once a week) because that clearly did not materialize since January 5, 2020. To be fair, it lasted for two weeks before things fizzled.

My last post was a birthday post in April, the first for everyone to celebrate their birthday during a pandemic. That is for those who were lucky enough to celebrate their birthday this year. The year 2020 was our generation’s annus horribilis. A volcano eruption in January, the start of the pandemic in the Philippines in March, and the worst flooding (Ulysses) in my hometown in November since 2009. I wrote back in July 2012 that I developed trauma during heavy downpours, and it only took me a trip to work in Pampanga 2 months ago that I might have PTSD.

Bye 2020! Bleh!

While in April, there about 4,600 cases with 297 deaths in the country. As of January 1, 2020 it is now at a staggering 474,000 cases with more than 9,000 deaths. These are more than numbers. These are 474,000 people who did not see the year change to 2021 with their families.

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Lockdown Day 29: Age 35

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I’ve read somewhere that during a pandemic, one must document his/her daily life. Even the most mundane day should be immortalized. With all those grand narratives of how Isaac Newton powered through the Black Plague, discovering some of the most important scientific discoveries known to man, we are made to believe that we have to be productive amidst this pandemic.

Today is day 29 since the lockdown was imposed over Metro Manila, and subsequently over the island of Luzon. I am also 35.

Panic buying before the Enhanced Community Quarantine. Photo taken at S&R on March 16.

When the first case of COVID-19 (then called as nCOV) in the Philippines was announced on January 30, 2020, I had already asked Mon to stock on a couple of boxes of masks from Bambang. I had been monitoring the situation for the past weeks. I knew that it’ll only be a matter of time before it blew up, and it won’t hurt to have masks stocked for our families.

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Before 2019 Ends

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Welp! My last post was exactly a year ago today! I almost forgot the password for BRYOLOGUE but here I am again with another mega post.

Funny how I keep on posting about religiously posting but haven’t got the chance for the past 364 days. To give a recap of my year, perhaps a mega post will make up for it?

So let’s have a look back at the year that was!

At the newly-cleaned Quiapo area ---- Mulberry Trout Scotchgrain Messenger Bag

At the newly-cleaned Quiapo area

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2018 Wrap-Up Mega Post

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Before 2018 ends, it is time for my year-end essay! I will compensate for my inability to update the last few months with this mega post.

Compared to the holidays of the previous years, this year is quite laid back. It was not as frantic as before.

Ayala Malls Circuit's Christmas decoration

Ayala Malls Circuit’s Christmas decoration

One of the things I am proudest of this 2018 is that I was able to make better choices for my health. This includes a change in my diet, and a better drive to exercise regularly.

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Update and Reset

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It is almost the 6th month of the year, and nothing had taken place here since my holiday haiku. I’ve said this several times, but BUSY does not even begin to capture what these 5 months were. (Although, I have already updated my banner two weeks ago).

Before June starts tomorrow, I’d like to write a quick update.

Strike a pose inside the office

It has been 6 months since I started working with this team. They are undoubtedly the most intelligent and most down to earth people I have ever met. To think my two bosses have always been stellar scientists in the world, they still are as accessible, approachable, and not amiss with their funny bones.

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It’s a wrap, 2017! (My year-end essay LOL)

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And just like that, another year has ended! While everybody on Facebook is busy submitting their year-end essay, I chose to post a haiku because, well, I have this page to write to my heart’s content! ^_^

The haiku is roughly translated as:

‘EAT’

Last day of the year

And later, it’ll be the first

So go, eat some more!

Not shading everyone on Facebook, writing lengthy stuff about their year. I was just being cheeky! I actually enjoy reading them, save for some with irrelevant #humblebrag.

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